10 for '13

Welp… it’s January 27th and I’m just posting my New Year’s resolutions blog. Guess we’ll have to try for “stop procrastinating” in 2014 huh?

Part of what was slowing me down is that 2012 was a very good year for me, and I’m having trouble letting it go. Actually that’s a pretty huge understatement, 2012 was the best year of my life and I’m in a great place right now.

All that being said I want to keep moving forward, and I’m not yet where I want to be. So what follows here are my 10 resolutions for 2013. They are broken down into three categories: Steps Toward True Adulthood, Creative Endeavors, and Dental Floss. 

Steps Toward True Adulthood

Try to guess which stage on this chart my chest is as hairy as. Source.

1. Lose the weight: Over the past several years I have been dangerously close to having both a jaw line and self-esteem, (two things I have not possessed since the mid-aughts) three times. Unfortunately, as soon as I begin nearing my weight loss goals, I rest on my laurels and balloon right back up to unpleasantly plump. So my next resolution is to….

2. Keep it off: This one is pretty self-explanatory. When I get to the top of the mountain this time, I want to make camp. As opposed to immediately rolling back down to Chubbytown.

3. Get into a grown-up apt: Since my Mom and Dad retired and moved to Florida, I have been living in my best friend’s parent’s basement. They have absolutely been life-savers. This situation has allowed me to save up money, not have to pursue a third job, and eat much better food than I could afford on my own. However, I am really, really, really, ready to be a real person. After having lived in my own apartment during college, it is extremely difficult to live in someone else’s space. I could list a million little reasons why it’s hard to live in another person’s house, but there is really one main luxury of having my own spot that I truly miss. I can’t wait to be able to walk in the front door and immediately take off my pants again.

This is where you belong pants. Source.

Oh, also I live an hour from where I work, and that just blows. Which leads me to my next resolution…

4. Get a better job: I really love working at Discovery. They pay me better than anyone ever has, to do a job that I don’t hate. That being said, it’s not the job that I want. Right now I’m in a support role in television, and I really want to get to the creative side. If I can find a job as an editor within the company, that would be ideal. But if not, I’m ready to move on to my next adventure. And speaking of adventures… (No lie, I feel like I’m killing it with these segues today!)

5. Date more: I actually tied my personal record for BDPA, (Broads Dated Per Anum) last year. BUT, that number is too embarrassingly low to print. I’ve got friends that are getting married this year, and there’s probably only one girl in my past that I can legitimately claim to have had a meaningful relationship with. All of my other experiences have been fleeting flings. Bottom line, I’ve gotta pick up the pace. Speaking of pace…

Creative Endeavors

In this picture I’m acting like I’m writing, while listening to music! And you’ll understand how perfect this is after you read the next four resolutions…

6. Write more: I spend a ton of my free time reading other blogs. I have been regarding this as research, the writer’s equivalent of hitting the film room before the big game. But now I’m attempting to change philosophies, and go with the “practice makes perfect” method instead. I’d love to get to a point where writing could sustain my lifestyle. The only way that’s going to happen is if I start pumping out enough material to build a real following. Or decide to change my lifestyle to “homeless”… and “foodless”.

7. Post more: You would think this goes hand in hand with #6 up there, but if so you are clearly underestimating my psychosis. I never actually stopped writing for this blog. I have at least three different folders of half-finished posts; one on a work computer at my old office, one on my laptop, and all of my drafts in Gmail. I went through a two week stretch where I wrote a complete post every day, slept on it, woke up and hated every word I had written. The level of quality that I believe I have achieved with each of my published posts is something I am fiercely devoted to. This blog is on a very short list of things that I can honestly say I created entirely on my own. That fact makes it very important to me, but also terrifying. There is no safety net here, no teammate to share the burden of failure. While at the end of the day I may be writing this mostly for myself, the opinions of the handful of people that I know have read everything on this site are something that I care deeply about. I want to learn to trust my talent and judgment enough that my post rate increases.

8. Record an EP: One of my other passions is music. I only have two tried and true methods for relieving stress: hitting baseballs, and singing until I am hoarse.

AND DANCING MY FACE OFF

I need to listen to it to drive, to run, to write, or just to relax. This deep connection led me to try making my own music, so I have been in an ever-evolving garage band for the better part of a decade. The many hours spent rehearsing and writing alongside the rotating cast of characters I have played with over the years has resulted in: two live performances, a handful of non-mastered songs, and one completely psychotic music video. My current band mates are both talented and dedicated. My modest goal is to record five original songs this year so that we can finally have a physical album to say we made.

9. Get paid to act: If money wasn’t a problem, like if I was born a bratty trust fund kid, I would be an actor. It’s the thing I feel I am most talented at, and I have never felt more fulfilled than at the end of a show when I’m taking part in the company bow. I’m a California kid at heart, and one day I hope to live on the beach. Plus, I hear LA traffic isn’t as bad as DC’s! I’m actually kind of making progress on this one already this year. I’m not going to get paid for it, but I just got cast in a web-based miniseries that will be a futuristic retelling of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Don’t worry, when we start shooting you’ll hear all about it I promise.

Dental Floss

Disclaimer: this is not an accurate depiction of how to floss, in case you’ve forgotten how it’s done. Source.

10. Floss more: Bet you thought I was kidding. But seriously guys… we should all be flossing more often. Literally nothing can get in the way of this. It takes like three minutes, and it costs like a nickel. So even if I accomplish nothing else this year, I’m leaving it with incredible teeth.

Here’s to 2013.

Machak’s Six Mix:

Cracked Article of the Week is sound advice from Mr. Robert Brockway

Meme of the Week is actually terrifying, but still chuckle-worthy.

Text From Last Night of the Week is from a finalist for Mom of the Year.

Song of the Week is the musical baby that was born when Calvin and Florence hooked up. And the music 

video is that baby’s nightmare.

Random Fact of the Week does not make sense.

Surprise Awesomeness of the Week I’m sure you’ve already heard by now, but this is big news.